sometimes it is better to get lost on the road of an impossible journey than to never leave

The courage was also that. It was the awareness that failure was a fruit of trying. Sometimes it’s better to get lost on the way to an impossible trip than never leave.

Sometimes you need to go back on your steps. No, I’m not thinking to go back home. Sometimes choices weigh on your life and experiences. No, I’m not repented of my April choice. 
Sometimes Life gives us second chances. Not finding the boat in the Andaman Islands to get to Thailand upset my plans and made me doubt my certainties gathered in these few months. I think a sort of Karma exists that helps you during hard times and allow you to do apparently impossible things, only because you are on the right path. You feel it, it’s illogical but you feel it. It was like that till a few weeks ago. Seriously, no hard or critical moments, a beautiful smile on my face every day, the budget was going to align with my expectations. Suddenly something goes wrong, certainties fall down and you need to do a bit of soul searching. More than once, when I was in Neverland, I thought to take a plane and continue my itinerary. I didn’t give up. When I decided to keep going I came to terms with myself accepting the failure of my first intent. I didn’t know what life and the trip were going to present to me going back to my steps. First of all, I could admire Varanasi with a low tide, and that show, while walking on the ghats, make me clear I had to come back for some reason. I had already appreciated the magic air and its positive vibrations, but in this season it’s even more, it’s a source of pure emotions. Chop chop I crossed the India/Nepal border with less than 40 cents in my pocket. I arrive at the sunset and cold air is waiting for me. I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt but there are only 5 degrees.

So now I’m writing to you from Nepal, from Kathmandu, where I spent some of the most extraordinary moments of my trip. I have no new places to visit but moments and experiences are waiting to be lived with more awareness. I have to stay here for twenty days, waiting for a China visa. I will go back to Tibet and I’ll go to Yunnan, one of the most beautiful regions of China, I will get into Laos and I should be able to be in Bangkok for Christmas, finally in the land of smiles. Everything is in place now, renouncing to discover new places with a month of travel. Not too bad, I moved back to Kathmandu valley in the orphanage: children here are helped by Human Traction. Just one minute with them pays me back for all the troubles of the last days. Having three weeks to spend with them is a gift, not a nuisance on the itinerary. They gave me back the dreamy smile I had last summer and the will of tasting life for what it is, even though there are variables along the way. We built the soccer field and seeing their smile is the best gift of this journey. I was there when we pitched the goalposts. I had to be there, I had to share that moment with them. Seeing them playing and running after a ball without fighting or arguing, only with a desire for enjoyment, has been awesome. My childhood remembrance came up to my mind, as playing with a ball was the best thing ever. I can remember fighting too, arguing and fake friendships for a ball, it’s the mirror of our society in our children. Sly people prevail over others. Bullying starts there when you are teased because you are bench or because you are inadequate. Here it’s different, they try to involve everyone, and when the opposing makes a goal they make unanimous applause. I won’t ever stop repeating how much humanity I found among people and children who have nothing. That smile is always there, and now much more with a soccer field. During the first days at the village, I could have time to think about my next steps. I have a cargo waiting for me in Adelaide on the 29th of March. I cross two tropics, the equator and the imaginary line of the changing time. In 28 days I’ll be thrown in Vancouver, Canada. That day I’ll be getting closer to home and I’ll be putting to sea from one the further place from Italy. No flights. Yeah, so how may I get to Australia without flights? This was my second biggest variable. From India to Thailand I had a B plan, from Indonesia or Timor Est no B plan exists: I should have found a boat to the land of kangaroo, or I should have taken a plane. These Nepalese days allowed me to deepen this passage realizing that sea currents were hostile and I was running out of time. Finding a boat around January or February seemed improbable. Solutions could be two: finding a mercantile from Asia or risking in Indonesia with a high percentage of failure. I looked on the internet, sending hundreds of emails to contacts, agencies, naval companies, skippers, yacht club and every day was worse. There are no boats, it’s the wrong time of the year and mercantile aren’t available for people. Suddenly I got an email though, during the cold dawn of a few days ago. There’s an available cargo from Hong Kong to Australia on the 20th of February. It’s expensive but I have no choice. I have to skip Indonesia, but I have no choice. I sadly agree but it was a very lucky chance because a passenger had just canceled the reservation. I muse the same night. I realize I made it. Now it’s on me. I found the way to get to Australia without flights and this means the accomplishment of one big step. I already have a transpacific cargo and this is known to be difficult by someone who is thinking to do a trip like mine. Most of the journeys around the world without flights don’t rule in Australia. I wanted and craved to go back to that land which had given to me the spirit to take the most important decisions during the latest months. I knew Australia wouldn’t have cheated on me and I would have arrived there. Now, everything is downhill because the transatlantic boat is easier to organize and I have no more bureaucratic obstacles. Now I know dreams can come true. Now I know I will be able to accomplish a really harsh adventure. Now I know life doesn’t give only emotions but forced break moments too needed to reflect and go back to the game.
Now it’s just me.

Rock’n’roll!